My girlfriend recently wrote me an email complaining about a minor infraction committed by her husband. She closed the email with, “I hate men.” Unfortunately, I hear this kind of language often from women. “I’d expect that from a man.” Or “Men are so unreliable.” Or one of my favorites, “You can’t trust a man to do anything right.”
I have several problems with this statement or anything like it for the following reasons:
1) Many women in our society have adopted a reverse sexism. They spew male-loathing openly, loudly and in front of their children. They spread hate for nearly half of the population, including their own sons.
2) Blaming relationship difficulties or annoyance on an individual’s gender removes the responsibility from the individual. After all, that person can’t help being a man, right? That means that nothing will change because no one is really responsible.
3) By categorizing behaviors by gender, we perpetuate problematic stereotypes and teach our children gender roles that have nothing to do with biology. We make our children far more sensitive to gender than necessary and we define our children rather than letting them be who they are.
Women have suffered sexism for countless generations. The Bible and the Koran position women as sinful, dirty, disposable and lesser beings. In modern Western culture, women experience covert sexism in the workplace and often overt sexism at home. But hating back is not the solution. It’s part of the problem.
As mothers, we need to stop the man-hating rhetoric and teach our sons and daughters that they are equally worthy and responsible in this world. Hating anyone simply encourages them to hate you back.